I was talking to a friend of mine last night on the phone and she’s just starting a new relationship and was remarking on the fact that it’d be great to get to know this guy, find out what they like, what their interests are, what they share.. and then maybe introduce him to her son and the rest of her family.
And they were going to do this in a phased approach, on Friday spend the day together, on Saturday maybe sort of start to get to know each other and the family and now that weekend isn’t going to happen in quite that order. What was really interesting was that there was almost like a kind of lightbulb where in her head, she said “Well actually, if he wants to get to know me, he has to get to know me as the mum, he’s got to get to know me in the work I do, he’s got to get to know the real me and not the masks and not the other faces that I put on”
And that reminded me of times in my past where I’ve been in relationships where you almost pretend to be somebody else and that got me thinking… Tonight Jo and I are both running NLP Practice groups and we’re covering the Neurological Levels and at the very top of those levels, just underneath the purpose is the identity, and that identity is at the very core of our being, and yet we put all these different identities on. We put ‘me when I’m at work’, ‘me when I’m training’, ’me when I’m with my family, my parents’, what about ‘me when I’m with my friends’
What would it be like, if you were just you?
What would it be like if fundamentally you were just able to be you? Rather than all those makes that you wear?
You’re so much more than all of those. And that really got me thinking, when those lights are off and you’re lying in bed, Who are you?
Who is it at the very core of you?
One of the exercises we’re going to be running tonight at the Practice Group is a little bit of Mindfulness that I came across when I attended a mindfulness talk at a local Centre. And it could be something you might want to practice yourself at home.
So find a friend and in pairs, just sit facing each other
You’ll each have two minutes and one person ask and the other reply to the following question
“Who are you?” wait for their reply and then ask them again and again until the two minutes are up.
And just notice what happens are you start to strip away those labels; ‘teacher’, ‘mother’, ‘friend’, ‘daughter’, ‘son’ and you start to get to who are you, at your core?
If you don’t have a friend, you can also sit in front of a mirror and do the same exercise, just look yourself in the eye and reply in your head.
Let me know how you get on with the exercise, Andy